Author Archives: Lynn Osborne

What do you do when you’re stuck at home with three kids? 

You teach them how to gamble to pass the time.

Mom had us on a card-shark development plan.  When we were little, she taught us Go Fish, Concentration, and Crazy 8s.  Sometimes, she even created her own card games for us, most notably “Who’s Gonna Get the Ace of Spades?” which she sang while dealing.  As we got older, the plan got more challenging – gin, solitaire, 5-card stud and blackjack — all for money, of course.

The good news?  She was always there with us at night, until of course I got old enough to babysit.  Then she was out the door.  But her love of games was passed down to us, and today, whenever we get together for family gatherings, we play.

Not for money, but for fun.

What do you do when your husband is 2 years younger than you? 

You lie and say he’s 2 years older.  Mom’s philosophy?  Shame on anyone who asks a lady her age – they deserve whatever answer they get.

My mom had a thing about getting older – she didn’t want to look her age.  She wore big hoops in her 60s and short shorts in her 70s.  She got her hair done every Saturday and was on a perpetual diet to lose 10 pounds.  Her belt matched her high-heeled shoes which matched her purse till the day she could no longer dress herself, and she never left the house without lipstick.

She was hot.

I hate to admit this, but when it comes to aging, I am my mother’s daughter.  I have 6 or 7 lipsticks on hand at any given time, start diets almost every Monday, keep my hair stylist’s number on speed dial, and believe it is a woman’s right to answer that question however she pleases.  Or not.

What do you do when you meet the man of your dreams?

Marry him quickly, preferably within 6 months.

Mom always said, “When you see something you want, get it right away because it’ll most likely be gone when you go back.”  I guess this rule applies to men too.

In the mid-fifties, she worked at the Gorham Silver Company in Providence, R.I.  As she was sorting the silver pieces, Mom – young and beautiful –  looked up to see a handsome, blonde, blue-eyed sailor looking down at her.  It was love at first sight.  The next thing she knew, they were  on their first date to a Providence Reds hockey game.

Six months later, she wed her Prince Charming and throughout their 42 years of marriage, they never fought once.

Of course, the last part of that statement is pure fiction, created by my mother.

She told everyone about their no-argue marriage, and those who were in the know would just laugh and roll their eyes.

Especially my dad. However, he knew there was absolutely no point in arguing with her about it.