Monthly Archives: March 2012

What do you do when your  husband pays more attention to the Red Sox than to you?

You pretend you’re a die-hard Yankees fan.  That’ll  get his attenion.

And in no time at all, you’ll be center stage again.

Mission accomplished.

I am willing to bet $100 (apparently the apple does not fall far from the tree) that she never even watched a Yankee game unless they played the Red Sox. Mom never knew where the Yankees  were in the pennant race or who any of their star players were.

What she did know, however, was that Joltin’ Joe (her beloved Joe DiMaggio) was one of the most handsome men she had ever laid eyes on, and that was enough for her to pledge her undying loyalty to the Yankees.

At least in front of my Dad.

What do you do when you’re winning at an outdoor card game but your stomach really hurts?

You pass gas loudly, laugh, and say “Better to bare the shame than the pain.”  Then you continue with the game as if nothing happened.

OMG.

Apparently everyone thought it was hilarious, but when I heard this story at 10 years old, I was mortified.

Still am. Can you imagine?

All I can say is she must have been winning serious cash that night and couldn’t leave the table.  Even if she was about to explode.

Which, from all accounts, sounds like she did.